The New Year is often a time of reflection for me. I look back and consider all that I have experienced and learned, the relationships I have fostered, and set my intention for the year ahead. I am not a resolution setter. I am a doer, so setting new resolutions have not been a pattern for me. When I finish something, then I have the next goal waiting. Nature and nurture definitely created this way of life, as I find great satisfaction in achieving my personal goals. My family of origin was also very goal oriented and driven to incredible work standards.
So, let’s get to the heart of the matter… doing does not allow for self care, nor does it foster wellness. It can produce high amounts of anxiety and stress – there is a deep rooted belief that if I am not completing tasks that I am not enough. Don’t get me wrong, it is very important that we work, care for our families, keep our dwelling, and all those items in our life that require attention. I am talking about sleepless nights of wondering if I can get everything done, waking up and jumping into action mode, focusing on task rather than a snack after school with your child, hearing but not listening. I wish I could say that I am not guilty of these actions, but I am.
The beauty in my brokenness, reflection and self examination is that I can see it. If I am not aware of my actions, my thoughts, my feelings … then what is life all about? I want to find my days and activities to be full of meaningful connection…first to self and then to others. I want to be at peace with myself and those around me. I want to be present for all life has to offer – not just the good but also the hard things. Yoga has taught me to be mindful by connecting to my breath, moving my body, and clearing my mind. This has opened a whole new world for me to explore. Through my practice I have come to accept my strengths and weaknesses. I am starting to see who I really am deep down inside. Self awareness helps me identify what is important to me and how to carry that into the world. There is a calm internally, rather than a hurried doer mentality now. I have accepted that I will make progress, and there is no such thing as perfection.
This year, I want to be true to myself now that I know her. I want to speak truth in love. I want to help people see that they are beautiful too. I want to feel stronger, sleep better, love deeper, connect to others, and enjoy the process of it all from a heart posture rather than overthinking and overdoing.
